The Month of Love
Ah, February, the month of love. “Love The One You’re With” was on the radio recently. When I first listened to the song, I thought, “Hey, that’s messed up. If the person you love doesn’t love you or isn’t around, love whoever is closest to you?” But as the song stayed in my head and I kept thinking about it, it is actually good advice. Of course, it’s good advice, but at times can be challenging to implement.
Acceptance
Let me explain. Recently I have been researching dealing with challenging behaviors. The first crucial step to dealing with challenging behaviors is maintaining self-control, which can be no easy feat. However, staying in control helps not to want to change someone but rather accept them for exactly who they are and where they are in their development. We get upset when our expectations of another person do not meet reality; that’s not the other person’s fault; that’s mine. I need to adjust my thoughts and behaviors to accept or “love the one I’m with.” Especially with challenging behaviors, we get so hung up on the acts; we forget that the person or child doing the behaviors is someone we love.
Unconditional Love
“Love the one you’re with” is about unconditional love, the Holy Grail of love. It’s what we all want from other people, yet we can be so stingy in giving it to others. “I’m a messy, neurotic introvert, but you love me because of that, not despite that.” When we are upset, we tend to want to make comparisons. It takes a concerted effort to “love the one we’re with.” There is not somebody out there who is better because they are not that person. I’m going to love my child for who they are, not for who I want them to be or expect them to be. I can do this by noticing instead of judging the little things about my child, what colors they choose for a drawing, their likes/dislikes, or even which foods or outfits they pick out.
So this Valentine’s Day, let’s “love the ones we’re with.” What are the ways you “notice” the significant people in your life? #lovetheoneyourewith #spreadlove #unconditionallove
